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-   -   Moooom - arg (http://www.friendsandfamilyforum.com/showthread.php?t=8398)

snafu May 24th, 2018 12:13 PM

Moooom - arg
 
DM has started bothering DS about his weight (he's wiry)


If she's not picking on one thing (ie: you need to....) she's picking on another

LucyVanPelt May 24th, 2018 12:36 PM

Re: Moooom - arg
 
If my mom said something to me about my weight, I'd be "Arrggghhh." But if she said anything to my children, I'd tell her to keep her opinion to herself.

Kids have enough pressure to look perfect. :(

snafu May 29th, 2018 07:41 PM

Re: Moooom - arg
 
This is just venting... I was able to say no, but felt bad

When I was eating lunch, mom tried to cut a 🍉 and couldn't. She asked me to do it...and indicated she thought I would do it immediately. I was able to say can't it wait till I'm done eating. Mom paused, then said it could.

snafu June 8th, 2018 06:45 PM

Re: Moooom - arg
 
she does have some good ideas

ex. use the dustbuster on the dust mop when it was covered with dust bunnies.

snafu January 10th, 2019 06:15 PM

Re: Moooom - arg
 
Mom's not talking to me.....I told her "No" for the first time in my life.

She threatened to move out.

I told her if she wanted to move out fine, if she wanted to stay fine, it's her choice.

KayKay January 10th, 2019 07:19 PM

Re: Moooom - arg
 
Wow, snafu! What did you tell her no about?

snafu January 10th, 2019 07:41 PM

Re: Moooom - arg
 
I told her I wasn't going with her to meet with my older sister (+ her daughter & granddaughter)

DH, wonderful man that he is, is driving her.

snafu January 11th, 2019 04:38 PM

Re: Moooom - arg
 
Currently DM is cutting off her nose to spite her face.

She DOES NOT want me to do the things I normally do: her laundry, lifting heavy things for her, etc.

She refuses to talk to me unless it's yes/no answers or "I can't tell you anything or you'll say I'm mean"

LucyVanPelt January 11th, 2019 06:40 PM

Re: Moooom - arg
 
Well, you know that most of that is about trying to make you change your mind.

Let her do her own laundry, and be as independent as she can be. Eventually she'll have to let you help her.

In the meantime, you can ignore the silent treatment, tell her it's hurtful and makes the living arrangement unpleasant, or just shake your head at her and walk away. Whichever of those things work best for you.

Good luck! Moms are difficult. ;)

snafu January 12th, 2019 07:35 AM

Re: Moooom - arg
 
I've dropped the rope & am detached.

I don't have a need to try to fix things.

I'm not even hiding in my room or crying. I'm just like whatever.

snafu January 13th, 2019 06:18 PM

Re: Moooom - arg
 
I'm continuing to do normal things....if I go to the store I pick up some low sodium chips for her.

I talk to her about as much as normal....

I've recently realized that she's exhibiting the same behavior as my older sister, you defie her and there's hell to pay.

I'm to the point "play _____ games, win witch prizes".

LucyVanPelt January 14th, 2019 03:48 AM

Re: Moooom - arg
 
I'm sorry, snafu. Sadly, the bad behaviors get worse as they get older.

snafu January 16th, 2019 04:57 PM

Re: Moooom - arg
 
I don't know 💯 if the fact I've not taken the bait (so to speak) is the reason mom (No D about it) didn't talk to DS at all this evening. The only time she speaks is if she'd look stupid for not answering, and then she speaks in a soft/feeble voice. :( she also refused to answer the house phone (I was busy) until I looked and let her know it was for her. She was so busy playing games, the answering machine picked up.

I'm still doing my normal thing getting things I think she'll like or something different to try (korean pears as anyone?) I also buy a box card set every time they are offered for sale at school.

snafu January 27th, 2019 06:01 PM

Re: Moooom - arg
 
Update:

Mom is talking to me again....started the day the trip was supposed to happen.

I need to speak with her about expectations ( I am not responsible for her happiness)

snafu November 12th, 2019 10:02 AM

Re: Moooom - arg
 
I never did have a conversation with Mom :(

However she tried to get me to meet with my older sister again, I told her no and she accepted it.

LucyVanPelt November 13th, 2019 05:46 PM

Re: Moooom - arg
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by snafu (Post 87105)

However she tried to get me to meet with my older sister again, I told her no and she accepted it.

This is good. Do you think she spoke with your older sister?

snafu November 13th, 2019 08:26 PM

Re: Moooom - arg
 
Not a clue, but mom really needs to stop meddling.

snafu November 18th, 2019 03:12 PM

Re: Moooom - arg
 
I had an epiphany today

Mom has expected me to "rescue" her from my sister(s) for years

...and I'm removing myself from that position (passive enabler)

snafu December 15th, 2019 04:54 PM

Re: Moooom - arg
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by snafu (Post 86082)
DM has started bothering DS about his weight (he's wiry)


If she's not picking on one thing (ie: you need to....) she's picking on another

I just found out that at Thanksgiving she told him he had looked anorexic. 😠

My mom's whole family was either wiry or willowy!

snafu January 2nd, 2020 04:03 PM

Re: Moooom - arg
 
Mom's not talking to me again.

Thing is I realized that I want to make it up to her (we both weren't our best late X-mas day), however trying to "love bomb" her with new clothes is stupid.

But I already ordered them and let her know. (Via text)

LucyVanPelt January 2nd, 2020 07:23 PM

Re: Moooom - arg
 
Quote:

however trying to "love bomb" her with new clothes is stupid.

But I already ordered them and let her know. (Via text)
I'm concerned that you bought gifts in response to the silent treatment. Does that work? And what would happen if you send them back or cancel the order?

snafu April 4th, 2020 06:53 PM

Re: Moooom - arg
 
I'm getting better at telling mom "No" and sticking to it.

Her cellphone is lost/misplaced and she's in rehab. I'm currently mailing out birthday & Easter cards for her. (There is a phone in her room, but she can canjust make local calls)

Tonight, she asked me to make birthday phone calls for her. I said "no", and when she aggressively questioned why I wouldn't do it, I let her know it wasn't up for debate.

She dropped it.

LucyVanPelt April 5th, 2020 04:15 AM

Re: Moooom - arg
 
Oh, no, where's her cell phone? Does it have tracking on it so you can find it?

snafu April 5th, 2020 12:05 PM

Re: Moooom - arg
 
It didn't have tracking :( and got misplaced between the hospital & rehab center. :( :(

She has now agreed to paying for a new phone & I picked it up today.

I have tracking on this one. I've let the entire family know. I'm currently adding her contacts (wish she'd had backup).


:eek: I got got a phone call from one of my nieces asking for Grandma's phone number!


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