bfootnovellista
January 17th, 2012, 01:22 PM
Hey everyone :) long-time lurker here...
My DH and I are raising my SD7 together and although usually she and I get along just fine, there are a few things she does that just trip my trigger. I'm hoping that some parents out there can commiserate and maybe offer some advice.
The first thing is that she's constantly asking "What's next" and "What're we doing after xyz?" Some background: Prior to this last summer, DH only had SD7 every other weekend, but I pushed for him to take her 50/50 time to be more involved in her education, her interests, to give them more time together, and to get some consistency between the two households. We are the more stable household, financially and emotionally. So for ~5 years of SD7's life, when she saw DH, it was to "go and do" - things like the zoo, a movie, concentrated playtime at home, etc. She already has very obvious attachment issues (can't be in a room by herself, can't play by herself, can't think of being outside by herself) that we're attempting to get over, but it's slow going. Now that she's with us 50/50 time for 2-3 weeks at a stretch, she's seeing that we're pretty normal too. We stay home a lot, cook meals at home, do chores, etc. etc, but still seems to expect an action-packed week full of every waking minute being scheduled. Help!
The other thing she does is "remind" adults around her about something they said or mentioned going on at a certain time. She's slowly (painstakingly so) getting a concept of hours, minutes, and seconds, so I halfway expected her to turn into a watch-watcher, but I find it terribly rude for a child to address an adult -- any adult, whether it's me, DH, grandparents, friends over for dinner, anyone -- in such a passive-aggressive and toe-tapping manner. I'm not sure how to get her over that one, because I am a stickler for being on time (DH is constantly late about everything by about 15 minutes). I don't mind that she watches the clock so much as I mind that she attempts to be pushy with her elders.
Has anyone had to deal with these sorts of things in their kids? I didn't have her for the first years of her life, so I feel like I could have fixed this long before it became an issue. When she's at our house, she's normally a very good, happy, active, and healthy child, even with the adjustment period between houses, but this is becoming more and more of an annoyance as the days go on.
Thanks ahead of time :)
My DH and I are raising my SD7 together and although usually she and I get along just fine, there are a few things she does that just trip my trigger. I'm hoping that some parents out there can commiserate and maybe offer some advice.
The first thing is that she's constantly asking "What's next" and "What're we doing after xyz?" Some background: Prior to this last summer, DH only had SD7 every other weekend, but I pushed for him to take her 50/50 time to be more involved in her education, her interests, to give them more time together, and to get some consistency between the two households. We are the more stable household, financially and emotionally. So for ~5 years of SD7's life, when she saw DH, it was to "go and do" - things like the zoo, a movie, concentrated playtime at home, etc. She already has very obvious attachment issues (can't be in a room by herself, can't play by herself, can't think of being outside by herself) that we're attempting to get over, but it's slow going. Now that she's with us 50/50 time for 2-3 weeks at a stretch, she's seeing that we're pretty normal too. We stay home a lot, cook meals at home, do chores, etc. etc, but still seems to expect an action-packed week full of every waking minute being scheduled. Help!
The other thing she does is "remind" adults around her about something they said or mentioned going on at a certain time. She's slowly (painstakingly so) getting a concept of hours, minutes, and seconds, so I halfway expected her to turn into a watch-watcher, but I find it terribly rude for a child to address an adult -- any adult, whether it's me, DH, grandparents, friends over for dinner, anyone -- in such a passive-aggressive and toe-tapping manner. I'm not sure how to get her over that one, because I am a stickler for being on time (DH is constantly late about everything by about 15 minutes). I don't mind that she watches the clock so much as I mind that she attempts to be pushy with her elders.
Has anyone had to deal with these sorts of things in their kids? I didn't have her for the first years of her life, so I feel like I could have fixed this long before it became an issue. When she's at our house, she's normally a very good, happy, active, and healthy child, even with the adjustment period between houses, but this is becoming more and more of an annoyance as the days go on.
Thanks ahead of time :)