View Full Version : How to get my step mother off alcohol? Or at least keep me sane!

November 29th, 2011, 04:18 PM
My step mum has a problem but she doesn't see it.

I don't know what to do! Her side of the family blames my father because he goes away for work quite a bit.

I have only recently moved back home and seen how bad she is!

She hides it from Dad and lies to his face if he asks her. I feel so bad for him because she is drinking all his hard earned money.

She doesn't work because she can't drive because she got done for drink driving so its a bit hard at the moment.

She sleeps most of the day, does nothing around the house.

I am at my wits end, I don't know what to do! I swear I am going to go crazy. I want to be there for Dad but I think I need my sanity too!

Any thoughts?

Mrs X
November 29th, 2011, 05:01 PM
That's really sad. :( - Not sure what you can do. You might be better to move out, then there is another place your dad can go to if it gets too much for him as well?

November 29th, 2011, 05:12 PM
I'm sorry for the situation you are in. You can't "save" a person who is adicted to alchol - they have to admit there is a problem first....and from what I've heard in order to admit there is a problem, they have to hit rock bottom first. :(

You might benifit from an AL-non type organization, sorry I'm not much help.

November 29th, 2011, 05:51 PM
My thoughts are along the lines of Mrs. X-- get your own place.

Please seek the help of an Al-Anon group. If you can get your Dad to go, that would be the best thing! It may be possible to stage an intervention, but you need support to do that whether or not it is successful.

November 29th, 2011, 06:19 PM
Thankyou very much :)

I think I will get dad onto an Al-Anon group!

March 2nd, 2012, 03:24 AM
I had the exact same problem with my dad and the one thing that i found was that you cannot help someone who doesn't admit that they have a problem so unfortunately your first step should be to try and get her to admit she has a problem and take it from there!

March 5th, 2012, 05:28 AM
Gotta let alcoholics hit bottom.
There are 4 stages. First, they deny and want a buzz. Second, they become dependent on the buzz. Third, they have to drink first thing in the morning. Fourth, their body is physically dependent on the drink and they need it to function. They usually die early because their organs fail or they are accident prone. Meanwhile, they will waste money, time, lives, and feelings on themselves and their alcohol.
Nothing you can do. It's a disease. No one's fault but hers.
All your efforts will be wasted when you could be spending better time on your life and working toward your future.
Alcoholics will drag you into their dark world of drama, pain, suffering, and pity.

Enablers are good people. Alcoholics prey on enablers. Alcoholics surround themselves with people who will supply their habit, people who will coddle them, people who will feel sorry for them, people who will listen and allow them the bottle. When enablers leave alcholics will move on to the next prey and use them up. It's a very sad process.

I wish someone would have taught me when I was younger about alcoholism. My life would have been better.