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Pat
September 14th, 2007, 05:36 AM
I searched the web for a situation similar to my own. I found a reply to "Sad Mother In Law".

My son married a woman with whom he has a baby. They put together a home for his two daughters, her son and the new baby. That was the most stability his two daughters ever had.

That was one year ago. Now, his wife won't live there anymore and moved. He is moving with her. This two daughters get left behind. My heart aches for them.

She isolated all of them from the rest of the family, was verbally abusive to the girls and told my son I "disrespected her" and was "opinionated". I thought they just needed time to work things out. WOW! Was I wrong.

I can't believe this is my son doing this. The way I feel now I don't ever want to see him again.

mum of three
September 14th, 2007, 05:46 AM
Those poor girls they will miss their daddy terribly. I have never been able to understand how one parent could move far away from their children when they are young.

I get the impression that your DIL sees those poor little girls as a rival for your sons affections. How sad. Hope your son realises how much those little girls need him and changes his mind before it is too late.

Remember though honey good grandparents are hard to find and you need to be there for those little girls when they need you. Try to make sure you don't lose contact with them as I fear they have a confusing time coming up. poor little mites, try to make sure that they don't start to question what they did wrong to make daddy go away.

1dilwhosreal
September 14th, 2007, 05:51 AM
Pat, that is a sad situation. I'm sorry you're going through all this.

Where are your granddaughters going?

It doesn't seem like your son, because you raised him better than that, but he's making his own choices. As much as it soothes us to blame his wife for being a bad influence, your son is just as responsible for what happens. In fact, he's more responsible as these are his daughters. There's no way my husband would let me separate him from his children, nor would I ask.

One thing I've learned is that many marital problems masquerade as inlaw problems. I think you know their marriage is stressed because you said you thought they needed time to work things out.

Sometimes, instead of the DIL blaming the husband for his behavior, she blames her MIL. And sometimes the MIL blames the DIL for her son's bad behavior. Painful as it might be to admit, you both may be pointing to the wrong culprit.

elaine
September 14th, 2007, 08:35 AM
Pat,

Wow, my heart aches for you. What a sad situation for your family to be going through.

Why are the girls staying behind? Will they be living with their biological mother?

Like mum of three stated, I too could never understand how a parent could move away from their minor children. Those girls will miss him terribly. It's just heartbreaking. I sincerely hope you get to continue your relationship with them. I'm sure they will need all of the stability and supportive family members in their lives as they can get.

Have you read Virginiann's story? She, too, found herself in a similar situation when her new DIL told her son he could no longer have a relationship with his daughter. Personally, I just don't get it.

((hugs))

Vavoom
September 14th, 2007, 09:36 AM
If you're on good terms with your granddaughters' mother (or even if you're not), you need to reach out to her and support her. The girls are going to miss their dad and their mom's going to be stuck patching up their hearts and drying their tears. Be there for her and the girls. When you have a spare moment, give your son a good kick in the *****. :mad: :mad: :mad:

suzanne
September 14th, 2007, 02:53 PM
I searched the web for a situation similar to my own. I found a reply to "Sad Mother In Law".

My son married a woman with whom he has a baby. They put together a home for his two daughters, her son and the new baby. That was the most stability his two daughters ever had.

That was one year ago. Now, his wife won't live there anymore and moved. He is moving with her. This two daughters get left behind. My heart aches for them.

She isolated all of them from the rest of the family, was verbally abusive to the girls and told my son I "disrespected her" and was "opinionated". I thought they just needed time to work things out. WOW! Was I wrong.

I can't believe this is my son doing this. The way I feel now I don't ever want to see him again.
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Dear Saddened Grandmother,
I'm trying to get this straight.....your Son has left his own daughters behind while he moves with his wife, their new baby and her son?

Where are the daughters staying? Who is looking after them?

She told your son that you disrespected her and that you were opinionated? Who told YOU what she said?.....what do you mean by "you thought they needed time to work things out?"

After you heard what she said, did you distance yourself from them? (I can surely understand why you would do that)

I am an MIL also....I understand how the situations happen. Be there for those girls. Do you think they could live with you? I don't blame you for being that mad at your son. This is so sad and my heart breaks for you.

Right now, you need to concentrate on the girls. You are their Grandmother but I'm unsure if there is anything legally that you can do just based on that because things have rapidly changed as far as GP's rights are concerned.

Vavoom
September 16th, 2007, 12:47 PM
Pat,

Please post again soon. I'd like to know how your granddaughters are doing.

Beth
September 16th, 2007, 04:14 PM
I searched the web for a situation similar to my own. I found a reply to "Sad Mother In Law".

My son married a woman with whom he has a baby. They put together a home for his two daughters, her son and the new baby. That was the most stability his two daughters ever had.

That was one year ago. Now, his wife won't live there anymore and moved. He is moving with her. This two daughters get left behind. My heart aches for them.

She isolated all of them from the rest of the family, was verbally abusive to the girls and told my son I "disrespected her" and was "opinionated". I thought they just needed time to work things out. WOW! Was I wrong.

I can't believe this is my son doing this. The way I feel now I don't ever want to see him again.

And whom is your son leaving his two daughters with? :mad:

You poor grandma. I feel so sorry for you sweetie. Can we get together and kick your son in his butt? Please let us know what's going on.